I cried some desperate and warm tears before I lay my arms around his body and embraced him deaply and lovely... His breath was heavy and his eyes closed while I kissed his cold neck. Then he looked up... I could see his golden, shining eyes looking into mine - sadly... affraid... One little solo tear ran down his face. I wiped it away, carefully and soft, before I started another deep kiss.
"You´re not here, because you love me...", he wispered crying. "You´re here, with me, in my room, on my bed, because you´re scared I could hurt you! Am I right?"
I stoped kissing and embracing him and looked at him. His eyes were filled with pain... I wiped away another tear... It was one of mine...
"How could you say this?", I hawed. "I... I am scared... yes...  I am scared that you hurt me... But not because you´re... Agh, you know what I mean! I don´t care aboute your past, I don´t care aboute your crimes! I am affraid you couldn´t..." I stopped... Should I really tell him aboute my true feelings? Till this emotional night our relationship was just a game... a game we loved to play! There was no fear, no single tear, no important words, no emotions... no love! But in time my emotions for him have been grown that much that every look at him made me feel sad and wistfully... I thought he would never feel the same way for me like I felt for him! But now...
"I couldn´t do what?", he asked carefully.
I looked away... "I am affraid you couldn´t feel the same way like I do..."
I saw his confusion in the golden, cat-like eyes and I noticed the question he was going to ask at the corners of his mouth. He would never understand me...
"And... which way do you feel?"
The answer was simple - but it wasn´t simple to give this answer! So I decided to show him how I felt... Slowly and shy I lifted my head up to the man over me and kissed him again... but now in an other way: Gentle, lovely, fondly and with all my passion and my love... He didn´t return my kiss! He just let it happen... So I disconnected from him and left the bed - crying...
I felt his eyes looking at me at my back... and then I heard his deep and slinky voice: "Why did you stop, little girl?... Please, stay in bed! Come back into my arms and warm me... come back and heal my wounds... my heart!" I obeyed... My life was senseless without him!
When he covered me with his strong arms and began to kiss my head he started to explain: "You make me weak, little girl! ... The love I feel for you is my debility and that makes me angry! Noone was ever able to hurt me! But now they all can harm me with violating you! It´s the worst thing I ever felt!" He stopped caressing me and looked at me like I would be one of his predators. "I hate myself and I hate you!... I hate the love I feel for you!" It was the last sentence he screamed out loud, before his scary view canged into a desperate sight and he fell into my arms crying and shaking.
Shocked and filled with mercy I closed my arms tight around him and fondled him kindly. "Hush, my love... Please, stop weeping, Sensei!... I am here, beside you!"
He didn´t stop... He lost his morality and began to bewail: "The world showed no compassion to me! The world hurt me, rode roughshod over me when I already was in a sorry state and took everything I loved away! Noone ever loved me... noone... Say you do! Say you love me! Promise!"
I huged him a bit closer and pet his silky black hair. He was so beautiful...
"I love you, Orochimaru-sensei... I love you more than anyone else! I promise...!"